I love you…

Happy Birthday to my heart …

What a thoughtful birthday gift I received today from my sweet Jenna.

Why do I love it when my kids express that they love me?

Because I feel like when a kid can genuinely love their parent, they’re probably genuinely able to love themselves…

I’m praying for all six of our children to grow into being happy, healthy adults; a little because of what I do/did right, and, more, in spite of what I do/did wrong…

And, most of all, by the beautiful grace of GOD.

#family #raisingkids #iloveyou #Ilovemykids #loveyourself

Dear Life, You are SO fragile…

This morning I learned that a friend, who I met through a support network for moms, lost a dear friend of hers last night. She babysits the little daughter of this precious woman.

The woman and her elementary aged son were both killed after being struck by a Semi on the freeway.

Just minutes before, they were driving down 1-65, near Franklin, TN, during inclement weather.  Suddenly, they witnessed a car flip in front of them.  So, like any decent, selfless soul would do, this beautiful mom stopped to try to see what she could do to assist the driver of the flipped car.  She pulled over to the shoulder and her and her son got out of their car to walk toward the injured driver. It was in that moment that they were struck by the Semi.

I can’t make sense of it. I see it all the time. I’ve had it happen to me. One day, back in 1987, I was hugging my brother and laughing with him, and the next day he died in a tragic house fire (started by a broken human-being who did it on purpose).

I’ve had friends, family, and colleagues lose precious loved ones to horrible illnesses or sudden tragedies who were absolutely fine 6 months before or a day before.  I’ve lost loved ones and friends. We all have. Our friends and families die.  We die.  It happens. It happens to all of us…. So, WHY are we so caught off guard and what can we learn from the fragility of life and the reality of death?

I think it comes down to a couple things… or a couple million.  But, to keep this blog from making all of us feel suicidal by dwelling on the sadness for too long… I’ll just keep it to a couple.

Number ONE… We may not mean to, but we take life and time for granted. It’s human. We’re human. How could we ever prepare to lose someone anyway? Right? So, we just assume that tomorrow and the next day and the next will come, and everyone who is with us today will be there in those days too.  And while it natural, there’s likely a better way to approach every day we’re given than what we are doing right now. We can’t live in fear of loss, but we CAN live in abundance of life.

The truth is… we just don’t know what will happen next.  Life is so fragile… We should never take a breath for granted. Not our own breath… Not the breath of our loved ones… Not the breath of our friends and coworkers.  We need to appreciate every day and every person in that day.

LOVING people is a pinnacle aspect of being fully alive. Invest in people. Judge not lest you be judged. Cast no stones you aren’t willing to be hit with yourself.  Stop wasting time fighting fights that just end up knocking you and everyone around you out.

Stop “majoring in the minors.”  Use your brain and your heart and eyes.  Stop viewing life through a tiny lens, whether that be an under-educated viewpoint or opinion, or, the screen on a smart phone.  Don’t spend money you don’t have. Live in simplicity.  Make choices and sacrifices that will matter once your daily breath is no more. Function from an attitude of gratitude.  Appreciate every day as a true gift, limited by time, limited in breaths, but unlimited in love and grace. 

Number Two… Denial is easier than action. Of course it is, right…? But, should things suddenly and drastically change, taking someone we love from our presence, what will we find most important then? Whatever that is, how can we start living that way now?

Here are a few suggestions: Hug those you love twice as often as you do right now. Do that as often as possible.  If you don’t see them very often (because of distance, etc.), hug them in other ways; a note, a call, a thumbs up emoticon, whatever…just do it.  For those who don’t hug, just try it once over the next day or so. For those who hug once a day, that means twice a day, and so on.

Say “I love you” every day. Show “I love you” every day. Smile at twice as many strangers as you smile at now. For those who don’t smile at strangers, try it just once every day.  For those who smile at people everyday, don’t do it anymore than that…People will think you’re weird. 🙂 Don’t measure your blessings by the “blessings” you see others receive.  Celebrate theirs and share yours. And…remember the little boys and girls and families who are living in 7’x 7′ huts, with no running water, all around the world.  Consider yourself richer than you could ever deserve. Do something today that will last 10 years from now. Sponsor a child. Find one here- compassion.com.

You get my point, right?  If you love Jesus (and I pray you do), show people Jesus. Study what He would do if He were walking through the mall and try doing it.  Study what HE might do if HE saw someone homeless and do that. Study how HE would love a sinner and try to love like that.  Study how HE would love someone with a different opinion than HE had, and LOVE others like that.  Study how HE loves YOU and let yourself be loved like that.

Love GOD, love yourself, love others… TODAY.  Because so far, this is a day we have all been blessed with to do so… Live by this beautiful verse of scripture “THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE. WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.” ~ Psalm 118:24

Finally….Breathe in…. Breathe out…  Stop right now and thank God for that breath.  And, right now, pray for that PRECIOUS and DEARLY loved mom and son’s family; a husband, a little daughter, many others, friends, like my friend whose name is Lisa. Pray for her. Pray for Lisa.  Pray for everyone who thought they’d have tomorrow with them… Let’s pray for them and live our own lives like we aren’t promised tomorrow either, because we aren’t.  We have a gift right now, though. That gift is TODAY.

I LOVE YOU all and every single one of your fragile lives…

Gratefully,  Donna

Dear Life, Tell Me About Kindness…

In honor of Martin Luther King Day, I feel moved to share two powerful quotes, and, in addition, an excerpt from a book written by Dean Koontz.  Remember this as you read them.  Today is a gift and, once our heads hit the pillow tonight, we won’t have another opportunity to live it, so, why not live it well in the first place. One thought… one suggestion,  in honor of MLK Day, is to choose to perform random acts of kindness. Offer a smile, a compliment, a coffee, a hug…YOU choose. There is so much we can do and these small efforts will last far longer than the brief moment it takes to perform them.

Here are some words to live by today…

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“Not one day in anyone’s life is an uneventful day, no day without profound meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter whether you are a seamstress or a queen, a shoeshine boy, or a movie star, a renowned philosopher or a Down’s-syndrome child. Because in every day of your life, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by conscious acts of will and unconscious example. Each smallest act of kindness—even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a compliment that engenders a smile—reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each thoughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others, and is therefore the seed that ultimately produces evil fruit, poisoning people whom you have never met and never will. All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined—those dead, those living, those generations yet to come—that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands. Therefore, after every failure, we are obliged to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strength—to the very survival of the human tapestry. Every hour in every life contains such often-unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in this momentous day.”

― Dean Koontz, From the Corner of His Eye

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. ~ Philippians 4:8

I have a business associate who signs all of her emails this way- MAKE IT A GREAT DAY! I love that! How often we say “HAVE A GREAT DAY.” But, whether or not this day is great is actually more up to us than we realize… I’ll tell ya what… I’ll plant a little tree of kindness on my block… Will you plant one on yours?

Dear Life… All I Want For Christmas

Happy Thanksgiving…

Oh my goodness… My heart is overflowing with gratitude this Thanksgiving morning.  As I sit and watch the fire flickering, the lights on the Christmas tree twinkling, and the coffee in my favorite mug steaming, my heart is singing a song of gratitude.  And though the song is silent to those still asleep in the house, I think heaven can hear those echoes from my soul…

This year has been a year of LITERAL miracles.  It’s a year where peace is beginning to make it’s way into my daily life… And I’m learning, as I wrestle the various “personality beasts” within me to the ground, that it could have been here sooner…had I let it.

I could dive in and list some major emotional moments where GOD has shown up and rescued the perishing, including me, but that is for another blog post. We have turkeys to cook and sweet potato casserole to bake!

But, I want to touch a subject, this morning, that I pray might “set us up” for some much needed PEACE and JOY through these beautiful days ahead…

As I quietly contemplate this next month or so, a month we refer to as “The Holidays,” I’m struck something I heard in church the last time I was visiting the kiddos in Yorba Linda, CA…The words came from Pastor Brian Moore. He pastors Crosspointe Church there in SoCAl. It’s where my awesome son-in-law is worship pastor.  It’s the church I feel so grateful and welcome in, as a second home, when I’m away from our church, Gracepointe, here in Nashville.

What Pastor Brian said is SO applicable for Thanksgiving… He said… GOD + NOTHING = EVERYTHING..

For the next month, we will be inundated with messages of WANT…We’ll be told we need “this” and we have to have “that”… Children will tell their parents about “such and such”… They’ll say that their friends got “such and such,” so, why can’t they have “such and such???”… Commercials will scream at us day and night…new this, new that… You know…You live here too.

But, all of our WANTING for stuff just leads to a sense of dissatisfaction that we can’t even explain…and, in the end, we just end up WANTING more.

Adversely, feasting on GOD, and all HE gives us, leaves us deeply satisfied and knowing we NEED more…

Here’s the truth… BLACK FRIDAY + CYBER MONDAY = BLUE JANUARY.

So, fellow sojourners, whose minds, if not guarded, can be sucked in by that guy on TV, standing in front of a shiny new car (with a HUGE red bow wrapped around it) whose telling us WE DESERVE that car….let’s be mindful and careful over this next month, to stay NEAR to what we already HAVE and stay CLEAR of the lie that it’s NOT enough…Because…what Pastor Brian says is so very TRUE…

GOD + NOTHING = EVERYTHING.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” ~ Phil.4:19 #Gratitude #365daysayea

Dear Life, Remember DUKE?

This morning, as I read God’s word and prayed, I was struck with a memory of my childhood dog, DUKE.

Duke was such a loving dog. He was full of kisses and tail wagging, until he felt threatened… The few times he felt threatened, he would instinctively nip.

Duke and I… I was in my teens. He was in his 20s (3 years old or so in human years). We were really great friends!

The one time that stands out (most prominently) to me is when he had been hit by a car and I found him with a broken leg. I ran to him to get him and take care of him and, as I approached, he went after my hand, He growled at me and started to bite. He didn’t hurt me, but he did teach me something. Some of the most precious, kindest, and most loving can attempt to attack and hurt others, not because they are mean and hateful, but because they are wounded. Let’s not wound one another. Let’s choose love.

By the way, I changed my twitter name yesterday… It is now @letschooselove 🙂 Follow me if you like that kind of social media madness… I promise I will try always to CHOOSE LOVE as I share little thoughts and other random silliness. 🙂

Dear Life… Can you still use me even though I am pretty broken?

My beautiful friends, family, and fellow bloggers…

Broken crayons still color…Broken lives are not a waste…Broken hearts can be healed…Broken dreams can be restored…Broken promises can be redeemed…Broken pieces can be used in great and mighty ways…

YOU ARE LOVED. YOU are NOT too broken to be BEAUTIFUL….

The question: Dear Life… Can you still use me even though I am pretty broken?

The answer: YES.

#grateful #loved #broken #beautiful

Dear Life… Can you teach me how to love…?

I love chocolate… I love 75 degree summer days. I love shoes. I even love grilled asparagus…

I love a lot of things… but MOST of all… I love GOD… I love people… But not always as well as I should… THANK GOD for the “HOW TO GUIDE” in His Word. However, I’m not gonna lie… This can be TOUGH to do.

Dear GOD of my life, Help me to remember the greatest of ALL is LOVE and help me to make it a VERB in my daily life… Moment to moment, thought to thought, action to acton…OPPORTUNITY TO OPPORTUNITY… Dear life…May I LOVE well.

Here’s how The Message interprets the well-known bible passage from I Corinthians 13:3-7. I LOVE it! And…I know I can do a much better job at LOVING…

May I strive to LOVE this way today-

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.”

Now…Go LOVE someone today! 🙂

Love, Donna

Dear Life… Can You Teach Me How To Do A Loop Dee Loop?

Yesterday in Smyrna, TN there was an amazing air show taking place.  Zane and I were returning home from 5 days on the road.  We were almost home when we saw the excitement in the air.  Soon after that we noticed that there were cars parked everywhere with people tailgating to watch the amazing feats taking place overhead.

The planes were doing acrobats I couldn’t imagine being able to accomplish, let alone survive.  HUGE figure eights, big circles, then stalling high in the air with the plane’s nose pointed at the ground, only to swoop upward, after flirting with the danger of a headlong free fall.  it was PURE, unadulterated suspense and thrill-watching!!

As I digested the intense drama, I thought to myself, “What did it take for these guys and gals to prepare for this kind of ability?”  And, “If we asked them what the most important components of their education were, what would they say?”

Somehow I doubt they’d say, “Well, hopping in, turning on the engine, accelerating fast, getting lift off, then steering like a mad man/woman, so I could be ALL in on the fun, ALL the time.”

I think it’s much more likely that they’d say, “I first had to learn my instruments before I could even use them once, then, I had to learn the mechanics of everything I would encounter, then I had to learn the A to Z of take off and landing.  Because, even if I could do the greatest LOOP DEE LOOP ever, if I couldn’t navigate the forces in the air or land the plane afterwards, I would be doomed. And lastly, I had to practice… A lot.”

In this era of instant gratification, I notice, more and more, everyone wants to do the LOOP DEE LOOP, but no one wants to do the work to learn what it takes to handle everything about navigating our lives.

When we get in a plane as a passenger, without fail, we will have to endure the safety “SPEECH.”  You know the drill; fasten seat belts, if the oxygen drops, put your own mask on first (or you’ll be useless to helping others around you), if evacuation should become necessary, follow the lighted path to the exits, and so on.

RULES… PROTOCOL…EDUCATION…EFFORT…WHY?  Without a plan…without a FLIGHT plan for our lives, we have a HIGH likelihood of CRASHING.  We need to be willing to learn our crafts, work at our goals, find our direction, carefully plot the journey, prioritize, be willing to take risks (but know how to respond amidst those risks), and, then, ENJOY the flight!

I have a little phrase that hit me some time back; “If you fly by the seat of your pants, you are much more likely to land on your [BEHIND].

God has a plan… He did from DAY ONE.  If we look at HIS way of approaching life, we will notice, He didn’t take the easy way out, and, He didn’t encourage us to either.  Jesus knew He came to earth to die for us, yet, He still had a job, working as a carpenter, while preparing for His ultimate fate.  I don’t mention that to minimize or compare the UNREAL sacrifice our loving Savior made for us.  However, it dawns on me, everything Jesus did was an example… I want to be more like HIM.

So…In conclusion, I’m not ready for the LOOP DEE LOOP.  So my new question is, “Dear Life, can you help me learn more about the take off today? And, thank you for the coffee. That helps.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Life… What is the key to happiness?

What is the key to happiness…?  I mean, I know the obvious.  Without GOD in my life…I choose misery and loneliness, even when surrounded by people and things.  But, beyond my relationship with my creator, what is the key to happiness?

This week I will turn 50.  So I thought I’d make a HAPPINESS timeline to reflect on what I felt was “happy” over the years….

5 years old: HAPPINESS IS… chocolate cake and Saturday morning cartoons.

10 years old:  HAPPINESS IS… getting lots of presents on Christmas morning.

15 years old: HAPPINESS IS… getting asked to a school dance by a reasonably cute boy.

20 years old: HAPPINESS IS… becoming a mother of my first daughter, Jessica.

25 years old: HAPPINESS IS… being the mother of two beautiful children.

30 years old: HAPPINESS IS… being the mother of 4 beautiful children.

35 years old: HAPPINESS IS… pursuing little career dreams.

40 years old: HAPPINESS IS… pursuing big career dreams.

45 years old: HAPPINESS IS…HAPPINESS would be to know that all of my children are safe and happy…

47 years old: HAPPINESS IS… having fallen in love with and becoming the wife of my incredible husband, Zane King.

50 years old: HAPPINESS IS… being the wife of Zane and the mother of 6 beautiful and valuable children, as well as an awesome son-in-law, and, now, several grandchildren.  HAPPINESS IS… LOVING my family, investing in the life of my husband and our children and grandchildren, seeing my grand-babies giggle,  investing in the lives of those God puts in my path, writing a halfway decent song, helping to make some halfway decent music, and having the privilege to celebrate the gift of another day.

As I look at my HAPPINESS timeline and reflect on it, what I can confirm is that years 35 through 45 would be what I refer to as the lost years…Those were the years that my priorities got out of whack because I thought that what would make my family and myself happy was if I could land some big career success.  However, that wasn’t what would make us happy at all. Why…?  Because the pursuit of success doesn’t bring HAPPINESS. HAPPINESS is found in the gifts that GOD gives us that are NEVER found in a career or under a CHRISTMAS tree.  Happiness is… Loving GOD, loving self (because if you don’t, you can’t love others well), loving family, friends, and LIFE.  HAPPINESS IS…LOVING today, no matter what today turns out like…Happiness is using the lemons and making some lemonade. Happiness is in GIVING and then GIVING some more.  HAPPINESS is…knowing that if all you have to give is a smile, that’s enough.

And finally, HAPPINESS is…(still) chocolate cake and Saturday morning cartoons.

 

THE STORY OF TWO FROGS…

A group of frogs were hopping contentedly through the woods, going about their froggy business, when two of them fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the pit to see what could be done to help their companions. When they saw how deep the pit was, they agreed that it was hopeless and told the two frogs in the pit that they should prepare themselves for their fate, because they were as good as dead.

Unwilling to accept this terrible fate, the two frogs began to jump with all of their might. Some of the frogs shouted into the pit that it was hopeless, and that the two frogs wouldn’t be in that situation if they had been more careful, more obedient to the froggy rules, and more responsible. The other frogs continued sorrowfully shouting that they should save their energy and give up, since they were already as good as dead.

The two frogs continued jumping with all their might, and after several hours of this, were quite weary. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to the calls of his fellow frogs. Exhausted, he quietly resolved himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit, and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could, although his body was wracked with pain and he was quite exhausted. Once again, his companions began yelling for him to accept his fate, stop the pain and just die. The weary frog jumped harder and harder and, wonder of wonders, finally leaped so high that he sprang from the pit.

Amazed, the other frogs celebrated his freedom and then gathering around him asked, “Why did you continue jumping when we told you it was impossible?”

The astonished frogs soon realized that this triumphant little frog was actually deaf and he thought they were cheering him on. What he had perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and to succeed against all odds.

This simple story contains a powerful lesson. The book of Proverbs says, “There is death and life in the power of the tongue”. Your encouraging words can lift someone up and help them make it through the day. Your destructive words can cause deep wounds; they may be the weapons that destroy someone’s desire to continue trying – or even their life. Your destructive, careless word can diminish someone in the eyes of others, destroy their influence and have a lasting impact on the way others respond to them. Be careful what you say.

Speak life to (and about) those who cross your path. There is enormous power in words. If you have words of kindness, praise or encouragement – speak them now to, and about, others. Listen to your heart and respond. Someone, somewhere, is waiting for your words…

Reprinted and Adapted from Crystal-Reflections.com